I'll be better before you know it

Letting go is never that easy but I’m still here, breathing. Thanks GOD I am still alive. Honestly, I thought of killing myself. Cut myself until I bleed to death but hey, I ‘m not that dumb and stupid enough to just simply end my life for a person whose not even worth it. I shouldn’t have even shed a tear, not anymore.

With my friends whose always being around , I know that I can handle it and i should. Everything happens for a reason and this experience , morbid if I’ll describe it would help me become a better person. Now , I can’t stop thinking what’s in store for me, what the future holds for me.

Thanks for the hurt and pain, I learned from it.

Somehow, I still remember that person. But ask me if I miss that person? Not anymore. There are better things to do in life, so many things that I need to do for myself, some favors that I owe to myself instead of me wasting my time and energy thinking of someone worthless. I’ll be better soon, better than ever. Now, I don’t need to sacrifice my time and my sleep just to be simply with someone who doesn’t even appreciate my effort, who never cared. I may be able to hit the gym regularly and financial gain? Obviously there is, I wouldn’t need to spend a single anymore on dates. Hahaha, just imagine picking up someone from and paying for the fare. Whew, I’m free now of such obligation. My life now will be less stressful. Sigh, if only that person knew how much stress I’ve gone through all the while that we’re still together and been going out. I need to give myself a break.

What I will be always proud of for myself is that at least I’ve loved and I’ve never thought that I may be able to love a person that way. I didn’t expect it to come from myself. So much love to give, it’s just that I gave it to the wrong person. I almost move heaven and earth but never expected that I would unearth hell. All this time, I did what I thought is good for us (hoping that I’ll get something favorable in return) but it’s fine, at least I didn’t turn out to be a USER. I didn’t take advantage of anyone nor stepped on someone else’s shoes just to survive.

I can still still smile. I know I’m strong to face this and things will start to get even better again.

I may not have the answers now for all of the questions that keeps on bugging my mind but i think GOD can explain.